Michele Mele - Blog

I don’t know.I don’t really feel anything at the moment.I have a few ideas floating around.Nothing is tangible. Everything feels unattached.Outside factors are becoming less important.

You can’t change anyone. You can’t make people do or be anything.It’s all really about how much you are willing to take.Really How much can we accept? That’s the issue.How much rejection,deceit,disappointment.All that, in all areas.There’s a lot of it. There’s also a lot of good.A lot of good. If we focus on our gifts, on the good around us. On the good in the people around us. Pay attention to our inner voice and honour that voice and knowing and have peace with that knowing as being enough, then I think it’s all good.

I guess that’s why the block is ok. I think I’m peaceful now.

Is this too revealing? is anyone reading anyway?? hahahah!!It’s really  nothing new at all!! Just be happy and peaceful and do!!!Keep on keepin’on!

I’m so sorry to be repetitive…I guess that’s why I’m blocked!!hahahah that was easy.

As promised, here’s our first dinner last thurs. night in Monopoli, Italy…

Rich red wine….Foccacia(potato dough) that was heavenly with lots of olive oil and tomatoes..thick crusty bread and perfect little taralli….then i ordered baked eggplant with tomato sauce and cheese and Luc had cappocolla with local cheese.Then I had the traditional/regional fava e cichoria (purre  white fava beans with boiled/sauted dandelion greens) of course with olive oil!!Luc had the traditional/regional orrichetti(little ear pasta) with lamb sauce..so many wonderful flavours!!

For dessert,little tiny round doughnuts with dark chocolate dipping sauce and mielle fieulle, with perfect cream and straberries…..dinner lasted 3 hours!!!!

…in Italy eating wonderful food and drinking fantastic robust wine…

I’m going to post everything we ate those 4 days in Puglia, but I think I want to go under for a while….I’m kind of blocked…yes, I”m actually blocked…

It’s ok,

It’s ok.It’s foreign, but I”m getting used to it and letting things shed……

Emily turns 19.My middle child. She is the first one I wrote a song for. Emily’s Eyes.She glares at people.She has big intense green eyes.She can move mountains with those eyes. Her grade 5 teacher used to say he was afraid of her when she glared at him!Her brilliance shines through.

She’s a drummer,she models, she’s attending Dalhousie University in Halifax, studying philosophy, italian,theatre among other courses….She has long legs and was a champion long distance runner at age 12.She was president of student committee in high school and cheerleading captain!!

Needless to say, we are very proud of her. But really, the best thing about Em is that she’s Em.She’s herself.I think that’s the most we can ask for of our children. That they honour themsleves and who they are.

I fell in love with this work when I was 16. I know it inside out.I love most of Mozart and ALL Beethoven symmpnohies. The 7th is my all time favorite.I will only go hear it with 2 people…ok, maybe 3…

Anyway, last night we went to hear my sister-in=law Stephanie Whittick, who is a robust wonderful joyous professional mezzo soprano.She was singing in Haydn’s Harmonium Mass.”Yay, a concert” They always ask Steph to join them because she is so great. She keeps everything together.Her voice is so assuring, you know everything is going to be alright. She’s there…yes,you guessed, it’s a community ensemble. Quite a respected one , however first and foremost,a community organization…

So when we arrived she told us that there was a first half before she came on and if we wanted to go for coffee,”s’all good”!! When I heard they were play a double horn conerto and the Haffner symphony I said”Oh we’d love to stay and hear that…”Here’s what happened….

Got through the horn concerto.One of the musicians was wonderful…she carried the entire performance.OK, it’s a non professional group with a few plants to boost it up….all good “don’t be so judgemental and critical!!”.Then came  the Haffner….I started squirming inside…overlooking the un eventful octave opening…the lack of attention paid to the space inbetween the first 2 phrases….the lack of change in DYNAMINCS…EVERYTHING THE SAME FEEL…THE SAME ATTACT FOR EVERY PHRASE,NO NUANCE,NO FEELING AND “TUUNNEEE THOSE *@#&^$^&%%#$^&!@*()@#$*&^$%^*& VIOLINS!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I don’t know what came over me..I started crying, my husband looked over and saw a big baby sitting beside him bawlling her eyes out….He didn’t have a clue what was wrong…I grabbed a piece of paper (for a church donation) in the box on the back of the pew in front of us….I wrote In hard black pencil, the words above, only I didn’t hide the actual word…you know what I mean!

I started churning inside , churning, tears were coming down my face…I was getting mad at everyone!:the conductor, the musicians, and all the people in the audience….sadness had turned to anger and frustration………I grabbed another piece of pink paper and……. wrote a poem….

Then it was intermission……aaaahhhhh

Went back in,heard Steph’s beautiful voice and everything was right in the world…..phew…..

So do you know what that is? “A Kegger”

It’s when our “children” of 20 years old order a keg (or more) of beer and invite all of their friends…on facebook so the entire world knows, and they have a party and do “keg stands”!!whoo hoo!!!And now that our kids are all older they all, including “the baby” are part of the party and it’s kind of nice that they can share good times together…..and mingle with eachothers friends-something we’ve always encouraged)

I don’t know…they’re all great people and moving ahead and going to university/college/working..Our daughter Elisa, is going to teach trapeze at Club Med for 6 months…and work with adults and children.She’s very wonderful with children and a gifted athlete, so we’re really happy about it.

I wonder about all the drinking though, there’s something a bit sad in it…why do they feel a need to get so inebriated to have a good time?What’s missing in their lives that they can’t have a drink or 2 and that be enough? There’s also the issue of frequency. They seem to do it more than once a week.At university,they probably do it every other night, if not every night.

I wonder if it’s motivated by fear…or self doubt. I think as anabling parents of the past 20 years we have done our children a disservice by making everything too easy. They haven’t had the opportunity to realize how capable they are of doing things on their own, of working toward a goal, of making decisions, of being on their own, of saving money, of paying for things themsleves…so now they still feel like kids in some sense and are insecure in their place in the world…on shakey ground , so they address this need for stability or self assurance by escaping that feeling with drugs and alcohol…and still trying to maintain some kind of normalcy.

i don’t know… still trying ot figure this one out…

They are good .They just don’t realize how good.

So the dough…

I had a perfect blog this morning and it didn’t post!!!yikes!!

now all i can say is I’ve entered the ranks of pizza dough makers….

Finally after years of failure and fear….I have found the saving recipe and made it work!! I am born again!!!

More to come soon….

The dough actually works! more tomorrow

So I’m planning a trip to India in November.Wanting to take a course with Gurmukh.2 week.

Just had a long discussion with my parents.Do you know how old I am?

All I’ll say is, I’m not 18!! But I did feel that way. Once I take a  breath and calm down, it’s really quite funny and very beautiful. It actually makes total sense:We NEVER stop being children and we NEVER stop being parents.YOu can’t all of a sudden not be a parent because your child is not under the age of majority!!!

I can’t imagine thinking my kids don’t need ME to think about all the dangers and pitfalls and “things that could happen”that they just can’t see!!!!

It’s the protective instinct I think.Our parents always have our best interests at heart and always mean well.You can’t stop being the older one!!!

It’s actually very comforting…frustrating at times, but very comforting…oxox

So remember in my last blog I said something was going to happen? Well it did!!!

Yesterday, I had a great meeting with my friend Sheila Clark and her boss Mariel,from Dailyweb TV.com for Metroland Media Group.

We were talking about putting together some kind of web/tv series consisting of live music and food and laughs….Just like one of my rehearsals!!hahahaha

I think we’re goingto do it. Just little 5 minute perks to give you a lift and something to think about ,and something to cook/eat!!They will also be posted on my website and accessible through youtube.

Would you watch it? What would you like to see? I welcome anyone’s opinion. Let me know….just a little positive “hi’ so that I know that maybe one person is reading or even a little bit interested…..helloooooo,hellooooooo

“we are here we are here we are here we are heeeerrrrreeee!!!”

Remember that? Do you know what it’s from???