Michele Mele - Blog

I’ll make this one brief, though I could write pages on it….

So, went to hear a friend of mine play last night. He is a monster piano player.When he came to sit down with us I said”You sound great…you sound different….older, yes, you sound older” “hahahaha, As long as I don’t look older!!!” he said……

Then we started chatting and he was telling us about the troubles in Hungary and the terrible racism going on there against the gypsies…He was hurt and saddened and his posture became intense and passionate, troubled…..older somehow……..

Then it was all clear.

pizzacheeseprociutto

mashedpotatoessquashroastedcauliflowerturkeystuffingrapinisaladcorn

pumpkinpieapplepiebiscotticupcakesfruitchocolate

so down for salad starting tomorrow

The way it works in our family is ..Sunday one side and Mon. the other.This year we had to do it today….What a glorious day it was…I don’t understand how people don’t love big family get togethers…if for the food alone!!!!(though I love both family gatherings)…..baked brie(this time I made it with walnuts , fresh cranberries and gran mariner under the pastry(homemade of course)…big chunk of Parmigiano,Prusciutto, Salami,chips(always!!) 2 pizzas, 1  with sliced potato and purple onion and rosemary and cheese and the other with sliced sweet potato etc.

Penne with red sauce, flank steak,grilled chicken breast, rapini, Brussels Sprouts(this time I made them on the stalk ,roasted in the oven with olive oil, salt/pepper and then sprinkled with grated parmigiano, salad and pumpkin, apple pies, lacy oatmeal cookies and chocolate chip cookies ,biscotti and fresh fruit…coffee… chocolate….

mmmmmmm

that’s really all i have to say…what else is there…and yet it’s so hard to find…

it’s really hard for me to live on the surface….i can’t in fact..

i think intimacy is like the universal truth.it just is…and either it’s there or it’s not..

k enough for now.

all i say now is ,it’s all funny…it’s all surreal…maybe now i understand Dali…hmmmmm

so i think i lost it… drag

trying hard to get it back….not sure what will do it

i don’t ever want to lose this feeling….I feel more confident, yes that’s the word, confident…more confident than I’ve ever felt before…well maybe as a 19 year old…but that’s bordering on obnoxious confidence!!

I fee like flying. Not flying away…just flying. Almost like I am flying and peaceful….and I was teetering last night before I went to sleep….I tipped over onto the best side though…

We were at a party last night…Lots of people,actually a bit too crowded.People were asking about my work, so I told them…very enthusiastically…then i started questioning my enthusiasm then myself ,then my work,then my integrity and so on and started going into a downward spiral of self doubt and deprecation. I remember talking about this at yoga last week and saying it’s a choice to go into all the negative things…so just choose positive.When I did that I felt so free…Like I was flying over everyone…hahahahh That sounds kind of “out there” but it’s true…just leave everything negative on the ground and fly…..This is soooooo “to be continued”

Well,I guess it works. As a result of social networking I’ve connected with someone in Italy who likes my music and have 2 more people following me on twitter…for whatever it’s worth!!!hahahahah

Probably not much!!

I guess it’s just fun to be connected.

k …trying to embrace but finding difficulty,

I am constantly being repremanded by my offspring to tweet more,facebook more,link in more,blog more and promote more…”mom, do you know how much Rhianna tweets??”

Well,I’m sorry but I just can’t get my head around blabbing about myself and how great everyone should think I am!!

It’s just so bla bla bla and I’m not trying to be self righteous or judgmental or self exalting or deprecating…

Don’t misunderstand, I love talking about myself….to my therapist!!hahahaha and my interested friends of course.But I don’t like asking people to ‘look see how great my songs are why don’t you buy them!!!!” I don’t know…It’s probably something I have to get over and grow up about…Like so many other things….. but it’s really uncomfortable…

k, I suppose I’ll have to try at least.

the clouds have moved across the horizon and the sun is out…beautiful mist is rising above the forest and there is gentle movement in the sky…

sometimes i feel too moved