I know I’ve written about this before….however…..here I go again.
So I wrote a song yesterday trying to capture the delicateness of new young love and was thinking….what age does this suit?? maybe grade 9 or 8 even and then I had a not nice feeling that kids these days don’t really know romance…..It seems that the softness of a new love is gone….especially if you”hook-up” before you even know the person….a lot of the music is very egocentric…I don’t know…maybe I’m just a big baby!!!
Well lucky me, the writing wave has hit me again and is carrying me through the ocean of feelings,emotions energy,ideas,melodies and overall excitement.
While I’m riding the wave, I can’t imagine being without it I just feel so alive and when I’m without it I feel ok but the shimmering is often missing …..
It’s like you see and hear and feel everything 10 thousand times more in the creativity wave…..It’s difficult to say when it’s going to come but really it is so simple……..The topic of another blog!!!!
Why you may ask, am I blogging again and why , you may ask, did I stop?
Well, I guess I got tired of myself and saying the same thing over and over again and wondering if anyone really cares?
Why do we , as humans, feel a need to communicate?Tell our ideas to other humans…wonder if they get it…Maybe it’s because we don’t want to feel alone. We want to know that somehow we are connected, to at least one other person….I was going to say “individual” but I think even that word contradicts just what I”m talking about. Why do we call ourselves individuals when all we try to do every minute of every day is find some magical way that we can relate to others????hahhahaha We would feed and protect our children before ourselves, compromise our own safety to protect others, open our souls through the arts so that someone can recognize it and validate it……so why call ourselves ‘individuals”?
I think we’re “Ones” We’re one but we’re also all one….
Sooo, I guess that’s why I’m blogging…to feel the oneness…
Bits of orange/red appearing on the horizon,some grey/blue clouds,some clear sky. No breeze.Something beckons youto turn your head toward the southwest sky…there,slipping through a picket in the light grey clouds you see the moon.Full and creamy.Quietly saying good morning…peace…
Remember that song by Chaka Khan???
I loved her/them. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about getting started in a new direction. The right direction. The directions you’ve been looking/searching(that’s such a powerful word) for , for a long time….months…years, really…Once you get started you can’t stop. But it’s great, because having direction is amazing. It just makes everything so much faster!!!!!
Oh there it is. My daughter reprimanded me the other day for being too fast….a ha!! I am going fast.I have to though because I have so much to catch up on.Right.
You can’t go fast though until you’re ready. If you try to go quickly before the exact time, it goes all over the map.If you try to go too slowly and cautiously you go nowhere and have no life experience to bring to your art…..So ……
You are where you are meant to be at this very moment!!!yay yay.Once you get started you keep moving forward!
Whenever I’m working on a project,even just a song,I get a sort of ball or energy and excitement.It’s in my stomach and comes with me everywhere….i can’t sleep ’cause the song keeps going around in my head,that’s one thing. But the energy ball is another.It’s as though I’m back on the digging path and just can’t get enough….get to the core.I don’t need to eat or sleep or anything, I just want to keep making music and nothing else….It’s magical and amazing but almost scary.Not though because it’s a fact of nature. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I know most artists feel like this…Oh, I guess I’m an artist…I keep denying it ..I don’t know why. I guess because of all the incorrect connotations it implies…but yes, that’s actually it…I must surrender to the fact…yes, surrender…
It’s great to get out and listen to live music. I brought my daughter Emily .She likes that dubstep stuff but really appreciated the wonderful playing tonight.Bernie Senensky was in his usual fine form as was Neil Swainson on bass.Bill McBirnie and Barry Elmes rounded out the band in a tribute to Moe Koffman.
I feel so fortunate to be a part of music.
why is that so hard?
writing,publishing, arranging, practicing,performing,playing,singing,re-producing, youtubing,eventing…make up your mind!
then of course there’s wifeing,mothering,daughtering,sistering,friending,cookingcleaningandlaundry…..
This weekend, for the 2nd time in as many years, I drove out to Halifax and back to bring our Emily home from University.
I don’t know where to begin…I love it!! I’ve always liked driving…windows down , tunes blaring,Timmy’s coffee,snacks from home…which always includes fruit , some form of chocolate and something salty!! Pop in my practice cds and I sing my heart out in complete privacy….I can make all the funny sounds I need too and even let those big turnoverair belches rip!!!!yay yay.
Then there’s the beautiful scenery…I love our Country. Driving through Kingston and 1000 Island gentle rocks and on to Montreal and the river and beautiful bldgs..(BTW, you have to leave at 5 am and on a sat. so that you avoid the traffic in Montreal).I lllooovvee driving along the St. Lawrence in Quebec up to Quebec City.I love the farms, houses,BIG river,flat lands…I think I feel the history there too…Then, Riviere de Loup where you’re high up and look down on the water and the big curve in front of you going toward the New Brunswick boarder..but not without passing the cheese/cow farms .That big lumber mill in NB. and all the trees, trees trees, .Long road and more trees…’till finally you see water.and that bridge that leads to Halifax, the McKay Bridge.I arrive after the sun has gone down so the harbor looks absolutely beautiful and pretty and romantic…No wonder she loves Dalhousie!!!
Then I get to the hotel, my doll comes and we get up the next morning and head back and have 16 hours of just me and her!!! That’s the best part!!!Wonderful talking, laughing, catching up,lecturing,eating, dreaming, philosophizing time. I immerse myself in how much I love her.